The Minister loves launches, events and openings with a passion. The central attraction is of course... himself!

It is vital that he gets a chance to make a speech, cut a ribbon, greet the guests and ramble on with elegantly crafted ignorance. The nibbles and drinks are to be celebrated liberally in their own right too.

The Minister can be relied upon to get his background information mixed up, to make extraordinary connections between otherwise unrelated aspects of the event and inflate the significance of the utterly irrelevant. Despite what some may view as failings, The Minister is always appreciated for being a genial and thoroughly true-blue Australian, if an utter drongo.